Doubts...

The apolitical 'Political Framework'

2009-04-12T03:28:00.004+05:30

Over the past few weeks, as many might have read or noticed, the BJP is of the notion that what India needs are more pre-election debates so as to increase awareness and bring a transparent picture of compared manifestos. Now, as a newspaper reader/news viewer/independent opinion holder, I am highly in agreement to such a move. It instigates in me the willingness to give all these rabble rousers a chance in my head. Why not? After all, these are the guys who have unquestionably managed to uplift the reputation of our country at a global level ever since India has attained independence, i.e., in a mere time frame of 50 years and despite the never ending arguments often questioning the caliber of our leaders, I personally believe that the path India is heading on, is a good one. But all of these are sub-conscious ruminations, like many other fellow citizens have, dominated by a more general feeling of discontent towards our democracy. So when these guys started making confident assertions which make sense, I tended to give in.

The idea behind these 'pre-election debating challenges', as put by the BJP Prime-ministerial candidate, is to highlight how much the ruling party lags behind in terms of answerability. The conviction and the confidence with which this idea was put into motion were highly remarkable and rather shocking too, I might add. I started holding a high opinion about opposition, which is deviant from my usual political stance of having given up.

Inspired by the presidential form of government in the US, Mr. L.K.Advani openly challenged the current prime-minister to a debate. The debate is yet to be conducted on a common dias and most probably wont take place at all. This also is very audacious on part of any politician in India considering the vast amounts of skeletons in each one's closet. This thought, particularly, nudged me in the direction of having an opinion.

Even though, I, based on media and journalism, believe that this debate would never take place in the near future atleast at the prime-ministerial candidate level, I saw it effecting itself at state constituency levels. So, needless to say, I was quite impressed to see this.

As I was browsing through the channels on my TV, I chanced upon a debate taking place in some constituency in Gujarat and two candidates, one from each the BJP and the Congress, were sharing a common dias in front of a massive crowd. I started watching this debate as I was curious about both the functioning and the intellectual level of such a face-off. With all the hype created by the media over the debates that were gooing to take place, I was of the view that this might be rather exciting to watch or atleast scintillating.

Before heading forward with discussing the content of the dialogues that were exchanged, I must first establish some bits of inferences that I have drawn over the past few years of my life in relation to our political framework. This is also important as I wish to share these thoughts even if they are inconsequential.

1. The parliamentary form of government is the best and most feasible form of government in a country like India.
2. The rules and rationalities before forming the constitution were well understood by the people concerned and the constitution had inculcated many of the tried and tested conventions of the erstwhile British Empire.
3. The political framework of our country is well defined and very formidable indeed.
4. But, no one in the current political scenario would seem to project these ideas. Especially since Politics is basically the 'Ethics of governing a Polis or a City' and this is what exactly is lacking.
5. Politicians are not concerned with what the credo of the Parliament should be, given the vast majority of illiterates in our parliament.
6. There is no hope for this country to further their rate of progress as long as these guys prevail.
7. Lastly and conclusively, all politics is apolitical.

With all these points in view, it is obvious why most of the people in our age group are unwilling to exercise their right to vote. We have no opinion. Why should we? If the people we are supposed to elect are themselves apolitical, why should not we be as well?

But like I mentioned earlier, I, inspite of all these thoughts started to form an opinion mainly, like I mentioned earlier, due to the excellent idea of open debates b/w politicians put forward by the BJP. And that itself was quite a big reason to win my trust.

Before proceeding I wish to impart some more knowledge on you about my life. I, like many men, also like to spend a lot of time on my shit pot. And while being at ease, I usually,also like many men not women, like to ponder over stuff or atleast the last piece of information thats being processed inside of me. It is during this time that I mostly think or plan for any sort of things. These things that I speak of may be as insignificant as masterminding some plan to get out of going to college the next day or as important as planning my next fortnightly excursion to DCE. Basically, I waste a lot of time, as my parents would say. But forming an opinion about the various political parties seemed to me like the best use of my time in there considering the plethora of articles and blogs that we see nowadays in various forms of media; encouraging youth to vote. And so I did.

Expecting a sudden revelation in election campaigns was naive of me. But how was I at fault? I was only building up my expectations based on what I read in the newspapers. A debate at local level as part of pre-election rallies seemed a wonderful idea. Having never seen such happenings(not including shows such as 'The Big Fight' which have a selected audience) prior to the day when I chanced upon one, I was hoping to see a debate on the lines of those taking place in the US or any other country for that matter. All my faith and appreciation for the BJP was basically due to the fact that this is the party thats going to effect a change and that the election campaigning methodologies were going to change. I started expecting alot from the debate that I speak of. I thought to myself, "chal dekhtein hain...fir decide karoonga ki kise vote karna hai".

Well, I was wrong in thinking all of the things mentioned before.Period.

"Why?" must be the question that is suddenly popping in your brains, especially due to the sufficient number of arguments in favor of forming an opinion . Well I'll tell you why.
Its because I am an idiot thats why.
"Why?" is the question you might be asking again.
Its because I wasted alot of time thinking about stuff I should not be thinking when all my assignments are due. And if you still are not convinced why having an "Opinion" is being classified as Time-Waste, read the following excerpt from the debate which I saw. The debate that started the whole process. A debate that, according to Mr. Advani Ji, is going to be the reason for sending the NDA to the ruling government status.Before proceeding, I must tell you that this debate that was an excellent...nay...Revolutionary idea was taking place in some town constituency in Gujarat. Follow my comments underneath.

Congress : "Bhaiyyon aur Behenon, agar aaj ki taareek mein koi Manmohan Singh ka biodaaataa padhe, to pata chalega ki woh kitne kwalifaaeed haain."
/* Good Point*/

BJP : "arre, pradhan mantri chunne aayen hain, manager thodi"
/*All hopes of watching a good valid debate destroyed at this time*/

Congress : "Pradhan mantri aisa hi hona chahiye jo desh ko manage kar sake"
/*Hmm*/

BJP( with all the force that he has) : " aapne manage nahin DAMAGE kiya hai"
/*LOL*/

Un-called for Interjection No. 1 : "Hame Kashmir chahiye"
/*Where did that come from?*/

Mediator : "Aap kya kehna chahenge"

Congress : "Hum secular hain, kamoonal voilans nahin chahte"
/*WTF???*/

BJP : "Hindu bhaiyyon ke haq ke liye kaun ladega"
/*Started decreasing volume*/

Bubbly Interjection No. 2 : "Aap kuchh karenge? nahin to unhe kuchh karne do. warna hum chalayenge desh"
/*Who ARE these people?*/

Congress : "Sonia Ji ..." (Interrupted by BJP candidate)
/*fir wahi ram kahaani*/

BJP : "Videshi log nahin chalayenge desh"
/*Where is this heading?*/

Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah...It continues...
Now tell me. Did you get the answers to your "Why?".

Occidental Delhi

2009-04-07T17:42:00.004+05:30

In a transitional society like that of India in general, a man faces certain conflicts. I say transitional because I see that a major chunk of population live their entire life thinking that they have somehow been westernised by the media and the chatpati journalism, only to realise 'its not for them' ,later on. There are some of these and there are some who realise and misuse it to their advantage.The only reason being to get the best of both worlds.

An old acquaintance of mine happened to meet me after a gap of approximately six years and actually told me, oh so proudly!, that he has managed to have some cuddlesome moments ,or thats what we shall say, with multiple partners. He then also, in his own glib talking manner, went on to say that he wanted to have an "arranged marriage " because he has had enough of the "prurience satiators" and he also beleives that whatever indian parents will fetch for him is bound to be better than his best option at hand.

Now, before heading forward, I feel it is my responsibility to clarify that the usage of words such as 'whatever' and 'fetch' is deliberate from my side, not because I consider Indian females as merely objects, but because it reflects the state of mind and the thought process of people i am referring to. The 'hindustani mard' that had triggerred this thought process of mine has an aura of greatness around him, or thats what he beleives. His exact words if I may quote were something like

"Jitni meri umar hai, usse zyada to meri zindagi mein ladkiyaan aa chuki hain"

Mind you, this statement was not delivered by him in a jocular manner, only for the purpose of making small talk. This is something that he is actually proud of and probably has been "orated" to a lot of people.. Obviously, an exaggeration of such sorts was not to be well-recieved by my head. I made the mistake of delivering some counter-arguments which, somehow, led me to change a flat tyre, about two hours later, by myself, in CP. But that is a different story all together.

Continuing with the words of wisdom that were imparted to me that day by the omniscient friend of mine, I'd like to clear here that never have I felt so content with myself. The next sentence which I heard was an even bigger shock and a laugh. Especially, since it was delivered with such conviction and dogma.

"Yar, bandiyan thok thok ke thak gaya hoon. ab business mein bhi ghusna hai. soch raha hoon hun phone number badal loon."

It is at this point, that I realised that education as such plays no important role whatsoever in handling real life situations. The rationalities behind this mighty revelation in my head will be elucidated later on. But, it is still of great importance that I explain the metophorical glass house in which i've been living for the past 21 years and whose walls were shattered by this great revelation that I speak of. I am a student in DCE, where 90% of the population is boys and the remaining 10% is a population who can definitely not be categorised as girls. Each sample from this set of 10% population is worse than the previous. This, particularly, is important as it makes the life of the male population rather pathetic. 'Lack of eye-candy leads to demotivation', is what every male student would tell you. The importance of the other sex cannot be stressed enough.An example will help the readers of this post understand what i am trying to establish.

1. The best basketball teams are the ones with the best cheerleaders. Remove the cheerleaders
and you will see India's National Basketball Team, which is ofcourse like bangladeshi takas....no use.

Having written the previous paragraph which can only be categorised as 'creative blah!', for the sake of writing, I will now try to venture into the unexplored realms of my imagination.

A student in DCE, if I may generalise, realises the importance of a girlfriend but will definitely not compromise on the Quality. He would much rather be single than bang whatever may come.Few exceptions of course are there. Afterall, as a DCEite, I can say we have a certain class and level when it comes to this issue. Now, imagine a case where a desperate doggy( Yes, pun intended) has given up on all those ingrained virtues and beliefs of a DCEite for the sake of excessive copulation. Then, thoughts of ditching later on and the complications that may arise become the biggest deterrants that prevent one from doing such things. But somehow, the ease of such logistics, are well comprehended by this sample acquaintance of mine and thus, the simplest solution( get a fake number and throw it later on).

Evidently, such people are much more pragmatic and equipped. They have simple solutions to everything.
I would have liked to believe that having led a decadent lifestyle and having psychologically tormented uncountable number of females, it should take more than just changing a phone number, which by the way is a fake, to put an end to this tamasha, as he would have put it.

Now, comes the interesting observation. The bechaari ladkiyan that have been victimised, as per their claims in front of future relationship partners, know this and are agreeable to such methods. The reasons being quite obvious. So one should'nt feel sorry for such females when they tell you the sad sympathy-seeking story of their lives and that how they were decieved and stuff. Basically its all, as many may put it, "bakwaas".

And in the unlikely and unfortunate event that someone does actually get victimised by such westerners in India, my advice : "Pick a lane.Indian or western and then stick to it."

But these are the ways of occidental delhi, so who am i to question?
The irony and the moral of this post, if there is any, may be inferenced by the readers and should be imbibed so as to fit in with or ostracize these illeterate hip-hopping people.

Just a thought...;P What say?

You know you're in DCE when....

2009-03-29T03:37:00.013+05:30

1. The broadband internet in the Computer Centre makes you wanna shift back to dial up.

2. The home page of the majority of computers on campus is www.kproxy.com

3. The annual revenue of the Hostel Mess is less than that of a man called baba.

4. The staple diet consists of maggi and chai .

5. The favorites list of all students consists of www.redtube.com

6. The favorite actress of an average man on campus is Payal Rohatgi.

7. The students and teachers beleive that their mechanical department is 'Asia's No. 1', of course outranking all IIT's and the best universities from China, Japan, Singapore, Korea etc...( Based on one article in TOI some 5 yrs ago. What I wouldnt give to get my hands on that journalist, if hes worthy of being called that)

8. Each element of the set of feminine students is worse than the previous.

9. The results of final exams are found out after the next semester.

10. The beer is usually warm.

11. The number of students sitting on the steps outside of college near the panwari is more than the average attendance in a class.

12. The bus no. 972 is all that matters.

13. The average expenditure on petrol on a high mileage bike is greater than the average expenditure of food.

14. The amount of refuelling any mode of transportation on campus does not exceed Rs. 20

15. All fests are sausage fests.

16. The number of people organising an event is greater than the ones participating in it.

17. Seven fests are held in a duration of one week and, still, the number visitors refuses to go above 50.

18. The professors are more worried about the attendance of the students than the students, themselves.

19. The right forearm of an average man on campus is unusually stronger than the left due to excessive masturbation.

And the most important and general indicator is....

20. Something does'nt quite feel right.

The Indian Male V/S Scorched Earth.

2009-03-24T04:06:00.002+05:30

As many might have observed that the closer we come to summers, frequency of advertisements, selling summer-use products, keeps on increasing. This has a very simple logical explanation. They sell seasonal products and thus advertise, quite obviously and needfully, seasonally too. But this, however, leaves a fluctuating thought in the human life timeline.

It is merely because of the high frequency of advertisements such as those of 'Itch Guard' or "Dermi-cool" and other derma-products that we start to question the abilities and the limitations of our own glands.To add to this horrible and disgusting feeling, the weather also starts playing spoilsport. The advertisements keep on increasing with the mercury continously rising and by the end of it all we're fed up and then the sweet autumn approaches providing a cool sensation to the affected area.

The reason I point out this fact is that it is, hence, verifiable that this problem is encountered by every Indian Male (By Indian I mean people living in Sub-continental conditions). Had it not been so, television time would be so much less tormenting.Reminding you all day through that you, yourself, have to go buy some derma-product, a person eventually gives in. In such a case, both the problem and the solution equally bothering.

If I may illustrate so, any man living in a "metropolitan" habitat would experience an occasional itch and due to the increasing heat it often happens that the degree of the situation keeps on increasing till it culminates with the end of the season and thus develops an annual cycle of its own. The degree of this cycle and the effects may vary with human to human.. Three possible cases emerge:

Case I

When a man powders up and leaves for his daily activities.

He would probably feel rather comfortable till he comes back home and relaxes as his ardous sun bath is over. But what if during the entire day, you were to get some action and then the whole zone seems pasty because of the powder and zonal secretions. In such an event, the problem is pretty much out of human hands and only omnipotent hands may save one.

Case II

When a man cleans up good, doesnt use anything to avoid any prospects of emulisifications, and leaves for his daily activities.

In such a case, again, due to the ambient city conditions and the low self-beleif caused due to tormenting repeating advertisements, a man again just reeks of the fact that, yes, he has toiled!!

Case III

You avoid leaving for daily activities, stay home, and plan everything beforehand.

In such a case, you do not use any powder, or any other derma-products for that matter, as learnt previously and do not wear fitting clothes. You try to remain in casuals, ventillated casuals. But during this entire comforting and relaxing experience, especially since you've been leaving for daily activities in the past two days, you realise that the skin is somehow reducing its surface area and the entire zone of discussion eventually turns dry.

In NO possible case ,based on general classification, may a man survive this heat peacefully. In no possible conditions can a well settled man work and fulfil his natural desires co-existentially.

In the backdrop of this sheer nonsense that I have been typing so far, I have realised that its the end of March already and I saw the very first ad of the season, yesterday, regarding this "issue" .

God Save Us from the Scorched Earth!!!

The limits of human potential!

2009-03-22T02:25:00.000+05:30

I was reading in the morning paper an article that brought to my notice after a rather long period of time that the US had started using androids in warfare techniques. I felt like a very thin layer of bubble, signifying how ignorant i have become to the worlds progress level indicators, burst.

Only a few years ago ,when i was in class VIII or IX, i used to read articles and tv shows on science fiction which used to foresee these developements in their very own absurd way!!! But,still, they were right about the general part of it. Is that all it took for mankind to achieve this? Has 7 years become so influential on the timeline? Has man become so powerful considering he, possibly, might be governed by an exponential function determining his abilities, and thus the time frame for accomplishing newer heights has been diminishing and will reduce as fast as you go ahead.

In the aftershocks of the perplexity caused by this thought, I thought "How fast am i supposed to go?" . For me, its pretty much ' the faster you go the slower you get'.

But who cares? The students from the college whose tagline is "make friends for life!" seem to be doin' fine. As far as I am concerned this is the only indicator i need....Right?

Mad Scientist!!!

2009-03-21T23:21:00.000+05:30

I am a student in Delhi College of Engineering struggling to part ways with anything that may be remotely associated to my college. I started with a load of detentions in my very first semester and then the cycle began. Three cleared, one gained and so forth till the sixth semester when i had manged to attain all pending credits.The whole process was ardously intensifying, if thats a phrase. But I did it and thats what mattered.

I was beginning to finally get a grip and started appreciating my college...I had started making assignments, attending classes and thinking about the next step. I have a placement offer from a good company and i was content. I was expecting the seventh semester result with two backlogs like a lot of other kids because the subjects were too dreadfulllll. I was planning to drop those two subjects at the end of it all and sail smoothly. Infact, i was trying to better my percentage and I could in the process have the option of dropping three subjects as long as they all are theories. And attaining a backlog in a practical is really hard to manage.

Then came the day when the result appeared. I had got two backs in those two dreaded theory subjects along with another 25 kids in class of 100. But I had also somehow miraculously managed a practical back log. A subject in which 99 other students had attained more that 55 marks. I do not wish to brag but i had a good rank in general category in a government college so the variation in the student abilities is quite obvious.

But somehow I was beleived to be the dumbest person with absolutely no innate or attained tendencies of contribution in that very particular field of engineering. Before I continue with my dolerous saga, it is important to know that a very sad incident took place in the hostel facilities of our college last year where a student had comitted suicide.He was a student in mechanical section. He did not appear in any of the exams as obvious reasons tend to point out. But he has been given more marks than me in that subject along with eight absents in the rest. At this point I am unable to understand the extent of my life's tendency to get into trouble.

The reason apparently for that professor to hold a grudge against me was because i was taking the Common Aptitude Test in Novemeber.

I do not know or desire to know why.Its just something that cannot be understood. As a sophist once said "You cant know what is not".

I remember the moment in my life when i was a kid and used to watch english cartoons post school like pinky and the brain and all those mad scientist images come up in my head i used to classify them as fiction in my head. Boy! Was I wrong.